Broken Hearts Broken Promises
by mandancie
Summary: Marauder era. Remus struggles to keep a promise. Please give me a wonderful birthday present, and leave a review. :)


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

 **A special thanks to The Lonely God With a Box for beta'ing my story.**

 **Summary: Marauder era. Remus struggles to keep a promise. No slash.  
**

 **Broken Hearts Broken Promise**

Sirius and James transformed back from their animagus forms.

"I'm going to kill him!" Sirius raged.

"Calm down," James admonished.

"No," Sirius began pacing. "He nearly killed her. I would think that you would be just as upset."

"I am," James' voice rising. "But it's not going to do any good until we talk to him, and he doesn't wake up until tomorrow." He sighed. "We'll just stay here with him and talk to him in the morning."

"Fine," Sirius sighed. He walked over to the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor in the shack. James sat down beside his best mate. He looked at his friend and knew that he was upset.

"Sirius," James whispered. "I'm sure he had a reason."

Sirius tilted his head back against the wall. "Yeah. I know."

The two Marauders sat quietly at the door waiting for their friend to wake up. They didn't have to wait long when they started to hear moving in the back room. Both of them got up and walked towards the door. Sirius put his hear to the door. Even though they knew Remus was up, they had to wait until they heard a specific sound to know it was safe to go in. James and Sirius were both silent, waiting for that sound.

On the other side of the door, Remus transformed back from the wolf. Tonight had been extra painful. He couldn't help the tears that were streaming down his face, while he put on the shredded clothes that laid scattered around the room. He looked around the room and saw that he was alone, so he didn't have to worry about being embarrassed crying in front of his friends. In that split second of thinking that he didn't want his friends around, he felt loneliness and all he wanted was his best mates around. He knew that they would make the pain more bearable. Remus walked over to the tattered bed. His legs hurt really badly. Each step was excruciating. Unceremoniously, Remus flopped on the bed. He only let out a sigh in the hopes that sleep would claim him so he could rest his tired muscles. The feeling didn't last long when he heard the door open. When he saw who was walking in, and the looks on their faces, he knew that he wasn't going to be getting any rest any time soon. The looks on his friends' faces made him wish that his plan worked.

"How are you feeling, Moony?" James asked, sitting on the end of the bed.

Remus looked from James, who was worried, to Sirius, who was fuming, and knew what they were really asking.

"Okay," Remus whispered. "What's up?" He wanted to see if claiming ignorance would calm down the situation.

"You know," Sirius sneered.

Remus put his head down. He knew he couldn't down play what happened last night. Sirius was angry.

"How could you?" Sirius asked, pulling Remus out of his thoughts. "After everything, how could you?" Sirius' voice was steady rising.

"Padfoot, calm down," James reasoned.

"I am calm." Sirius' voice was harsh, looking at James and then back to Remus. "What were you thinking?"

"Do you think I wanted this?" Remus said a little louder. "How do you think I feel?"

James knew this was probably not the best time to have this conversation, so he slid closer to Remus and tried to lay him back down on the bed.

"Maybe, we should talk about this later," James reasoned, looking at Sirius with a hopeful face.

"No," Sirius ranted, as he shot James a look. He was far past reasoning at that point. "We're going to do this now. You didn't take your potion."

James looked at Remus and saw the hurt look on his face.

"Slughorn came to me, because he knew that we were inseparable and told me that I was to give you this." Sirius pulled a small phial out of his pocket and tossed it to Remus' chest. James picked up the phial that landed in between them and looked at it. It was his Wolfsbane potion. James looked at Remus.

Remus looked at his friends and saw the anger in Sirius and the hurt in James. He couldn't help the guilt he was now feeling. He really didn't have an answer for Sirius. He didn't know why he didn't take the potion. He couldn't say that he forgot. This happening every month was kind of hard to forget. He thought and thought about it. He supposed he was just really tired of it all. Having to change into that creature every month was beginning to be too much.

Sirius saw the despondent look on his friend's face and his anger just deflated. He sat down at the head of the bed next to Remus.

"Moony," Sirius' voice was much calmer. "Talk to us. Why didn't you take the potion?"

"I'm just tired," Remus responded, not looking at either one of them. "Tired of becoming this thing every month."

"You're not allowed to give up, Moony," Sirius sighed. "I won't allow it. You can fight this thing. We'll be there for you."

With his head down, Remus' shoulders shook as he silently sobbed.

"One other thing," Sirius slid over until he was leaning on Remus. "If you ever not take your potion and hurt someone that I love, someone who means the world to me, I will beat your arse."

Remus, at first, trying to hide his tears from his friends, shot his head up and looked at Sirius incredulously, saw that Sirius meant every word that he just said.

"I mean it, Moony. You're not allowed to give up."

_00000_00000_00000_00000_0000_0000_

A lot had happened to Remus John Lupin in the past eighteen years. Four years after graduating from Hogwarts, Remus pretty much lost all of his friends in a signal night. James and Lily were killed. Peter was killed. And Sirius was the reason they were all dead. Remus was alone, again. Life was hard for the lone Marauder. As the years passed, work was scarce because of his condition. He could only find odd jobs, and those he couldn't keep long because he was a werewolf.

Life was hard. Keeping his promise to his friends was harder.

'You're not allowed to give up.'

Sirius' words re-played in his head over and over. So every month, Remus would keep his promise and not give up. He pondered as to why he would keep his promise to Sirius, seeing that he was the main reason he was, once again, alone. He thought about it. The more he thought, it seemed like he just wanted to hold on to the past just a little while longer.

One morning, Remus got up to a barn owl sitting at the edge of his bed. Attached to the owl's ankle was a small piece of parchment. Taking it, and reading it, Remus felt maybe his luck was changing for the better. Albus Dumbledore sent him an invitation to come for tea.

After talking with his former Headmaster, Remus left Hogwarts with a smile on his face. Not only was he granted a job, but also adequate room and board as well. Since the Headmaster knew of his condition from school, he was also promised Wolfsbane potions every month from their own Potion Master. Remus went back to where he was staying and packed up his meager suitcase. For nostalgic reasons, Remus declined the offer of coming to the school with the other teachers and rode the Hogwarts Express with the students.

The school year went by. There were some ups and downs. During the year, why did Sirius have to make his escape now? The last person Remus wanted to see was him. After everything that Sirius had done, the last thing he wanted to do was see him. He knew he would not be able to hold back the wolf. Not that he would want to. Sirius' evil act costing more than just his life, but the lives of James, Lily and Harry, not to mention Peter as well. Actually, a small part of Remus was actually hoping to see him. It was the first time he had ever wanted the wolf inside to take over. But deep down he knew he had to keep that promise. Even if it was Sirius that made him promise in the first place.

While grading papers and waiting for a missive from Severus about his Wolfsbane, Remus was sitting on his sofa just staring into the fire, thinking about the map that he confiscated from Harry. Claiming to see Pettigrew's name has really unsettled him. While sitting there lost in his own thoughts, a small piece of parchment popped in existence on his lap. To say that Remus was surprised was an understatement. This hasn't happened since the Marauders were in school. It was a way for them to keep in touch with each other if they were in detention or planning a prank.

He tentatively reached down and picked up the parchment. On the parchment it only had two words on it; 'Shack Now.' Remus recognized that handwriting from anyone. Deep down he could feel the wolf making itself known. Throwing caution to the wind and completely forgetting about the message from Severus about his potion, Remus raced out of his chambers and headed to the shack. Totally focused on heading towards the Whomping Willow, he did not notice he was being followed.

Later, Remus woke up in the forest. As he was finding something to cover his beaten, tattered body, the last thing he remembered was the fear in his friend's eyes. Everyone was scared. Then he remembered that he never took the Wolfsbane. Fear and guilt began to well up in Remus' belly. After everything he's been through, he broke his promise. And after everything that was learned the previous night, his forgetting to take the Wolfsbane just made everything that much worse.

Slowly and carefully, he made the trek back up to the castle. Luckily, being a Marauder, he knew of some secret passages that he could get to his chambers without being seen.

And if things couldn't get any worse for Remus, he learned that someone let slip his condition. So, now to avoid angry howlers, Remus went to Dumbledore and resigned. Remus knew who told, and he really couldn't blame him. Severus had made it abundantly clear that if he didn't take the potion on time every month, he would make sure he wouldn't be at the school any more. It was a condition of him making the Wolfsbane every month, so he wasn't really angry with Severus for talking.

While packing, he said his goodbyes to Harry and returned the map and even though he was feeling awful, held his head high as he walked out of the school one last time.

Walking back into his flat, Remus pulled his over cloak off and hung it on the hook by the door. What he didn't expect was what happened next. Turning around to walk towards the couch, he was met with a punch to the face. Totally unprepared for the assault, he fell against the door.

"How could you?! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THEM! WOULD YOU WANT HARRY'S BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS?"

Remus tried to right himself. His head spinning from being hit. He still weak from his transformation.

"YOU PROMISED!"

Before Remus could lift his head another blow hit him in the same spot. This time Remus succeeded in falling on the floor. Once his vision stopped swimming from being hit, not once, but twice, Remus looked up to see his attacker.

I must be imagining this. Sirius is standing in my flat. He escaped, Remus thought.

Blinking the stars from his vision, he realized that his friend was indeed standing over him, fuming.

"Sirius." Remus voice was weak.

"I can't believe you did it again," Sirius accused. "You promised."

Sirius reached down and grabbed Remus by the collar and stood him up. After being hit by Sirius, Remus couldn't help the flinch when Sirius grabbed him. Sirius couldn't help the hurt he felt when his best, and only, mate flinched when he touched him, but he couldn't help it. His temper just got away from him.

After being placed on the sofa, Remus watched as Sirius seem to deflate in front of him. Sirius sank down onto the sofa next to him.

"I don't want you scared of me," Sirius sighed. His voice was much calmer and subdued than when Remus first got home.

Remus instantly regretted the flinch, but the way he was feeling, his body just couldn't take much more abuse. From himself or his best mate.

"I'm sorry."

"You can't give up," Sirius sighed. "Not when I need you the most."

Remus turned and looked at his friend sitting next to him. Tears streaming down his face, Sirius looked broken.

"Do you know what it feels like to be accused of killing your best mate, your brother, and no one believing you?"

Remus didn't answer the question, knowing that Sirius wasn't really looking for one. He turned slightly and ignoring the ache in his joints from transforming without the potion, he snaked his hand behind Sirius' neck and brought his distraught friend into an embrace.

Twelve years of grief, hurt, betrayal, and relief came pouring out of Sirius as he cried into his friend's shoulder.

Remus didn't say one word. He just held him, and for the first time in a long time, Remus truly had a reason to not give up. He would be there for his friend from now on.

 **The End**

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed my little one-shot. :) It's the first time I've focused on Remus, Sirius, and James. Please give me the best birthday present and leave a review. Tell me what you think of it.**

 **Many hugs and kisses to you all**

 **Mandancie :)**

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